Human

Dear Blog,

I have often thought about the future. The kind of impact I will have on the world, more specifically. I dream of my name in a textbook at some point, if only there by mere mention. I also wish I can bring with my presence a change in the world so great that the media reports on my death. It's a train of thought that is a bit self-serving, I know. But it's the fact that I could improve the world, leaving it better than when I found it, that brings me the most joy. But the more I dwell on the fantasy, the more I realize how far off from reality it might be. I don't have much to my name at the moment, and I imagine that I won't for some time. Which is fine, until I learn more about the people I hold in high regard. I see that they had created these wonderful and meaningful things early in their lives before they continued into their lives at force speed, accumulating so much to their reputation that it intimidates me to even read about them. I look at these examples and I think to myself "How can I attain status like that? How can I leave my mark on the world for the betterment of mankind?" I don't have a clear-cut answer to that yet, but as I ponder (during an early morning eight-hour desk shift over the Thanksgiving holiday break, I should point out), I begin to realize one simple fact. Every role model I have, any person that wish to compare myself to, any of these accomplished individuals have a common connection to one another and me: they're human.

Human; simple creatures that have done incredible things. NASA  

It's an odd realization, but it was mentioned over our staff retreat and it didn't click until learning more about a couple of influential people. The first of which is Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs died October 5, 2011, earlier this year, and following his death, the media reacted strongly, as did a huge portion of his fans. He was described as a genius, a revolutionary, a brilliant inventor of modern life, and a great leader. His story is remarkable. An adopted son, built one of the world's first personal computers in his garage with his best friend, Jobs dropped out of college, created and improved up ideas that made his company Apple a huge success all while in his twenties. He was then ostracized from his own company, helped create Pixar, rebuilt Apple when it started to fail after leaving the company years earlier, revolutionized the digital music industry and paved the way for mobile computer in huge ways. He was a huge factor in the way Western civilization operates now.
And Jobs was human. He was described as a tyrant and a bully. He yelled at people and he belittled them. He heavily borrowed ideas and branded them as his own, and was an opportunist in sometimes the negative sense. He could be short with people, using them for his own goals and then casting them aside. He demanded results as he envisioned the potential of the future, pushing others to go the extra mile to reach his lofty ends. He trashed talked competitors and shrugged off people he didn't want to bother with.
Jobs was also a caring husband and loving father. He friendships meant a lot to him, often talking long walks with his friends, talking about anything from the business and health to the meaning of life. He appreciated the beauty of the natural world and sought to convey the simplicity of design into all Apple products. He valued creativity and innovation. He was always pushing into the future. He saw a future world and tried to bring the rest of us into that world.
The only face of Jobs I ever saw that the "one more thing" keynote speeches and beaming face paired with iPods and Pixar. After his death I learned more. And I gained a further respect as I learned more. Coupled with his charm was a charisma that was borderline frightening. Hard work got Steve Jobs to a point. It was that tenacity and biting-edge personality that he was able to access at the right moments which ultimately brought him the great success of Apple Inc. Jobs wasn't a saint, he was a man. And I should keep that in mind as I go about my life. I am a man, too. I make mistakes, I fumble, and I don't have to be the nicest guy in every situation. I aim to be well-mannered and positive as often as I can, but "speaking softly and carrying a big stick" is a philosophy that I should begin to definitely adhere to. I don't need to yell at everyone, but I shouldn't shy from the chance that I might have to take an aggressive stance. I don't take pleasure in having that scenario in my repertoire, but I feel like if I plan to change the world in some way, even a small one, I should grow into a well-rounded individual (which happens to include this social tool).

Apple Logo Tribute: 1955-2011 by Johnathan Mak

Another model of success is Conan O'Brien. I have long wished for a stand-up career and to host a late night talk show. It's a dream of mine that I've let fall away. The odds are long and the pay until reaching national fame is feeble. But O'Brien stands out as a success because of the NBC debacle that happens a couple years ago. In January 2010, after the show had been on for only seven months, NBC announced that it was going to move Jay Leno from prime time back to his original time slot, forcing O'Brien's show to start after midnight. In response,  O'Brien released a press statement saying that he would not continue as hot of The Tonight Show if it was moved to any time after midnight to accommodate The Jay Leno Show. In January 2010, after the show had been on the air for seven months, it was announced that NBC was intending to move Jay Leno from prime time back to his original time slot, forcing O'Brien's show to start after midnight. In response to the announcement, O'Brien released a press statement saying that he would not continue as host of The Tonight Show if it was moved to any time after midnight to accommodate The Jay Leno Show. He feared it would ruin the long and rich Tonight Show tradition. After two weeks of negotiations, NBC announced that they had paid $45 million to buy out O'Brien's contract, ending both his tenure as host as well as his relationship with NBC after 22 years.

Following that separation, Conan was incredibly upset. His anger affected him in a great way. Conan was legally prohibited from appearing on the television or Internet for a few months. He went on tour as he dealt with the emotions that he had regarding the mistreatment he felt by NBC. After that tour, Conan took a short break and then began a late night show on TBS.

I supported Conan through his rough transition and the aftermath of his decision. I followed him on Twitter and taped up a poster on my door showing my allegiance to Team Coco. It wasn't until later, while watching a documentary the followed Conan that I saw the troubled and stressed Conan O'Brien that was hidden when performing on stage and front of camera crews. He was very short with people, incredibly rude and sarcastic, and generally depressed for much of his time on tour. I saw his smiling face at night prior to the show's cancellation. And now I see this overworked and heartbroken man.

Conan O'Brien is a man, too. It was his dream for most of his life to be the host of The Tonight Show and that dream was given to him and subsequently taken away from him. It was torn from him thanks to executives. Knowing this, and seeing him outside of performances, I couldn't help be value his work more. Despite all that he'd personally gone through, he still met with fans and performed. We was so angry for so long, but that didn't hinder his commitment to his craft. He might have been unemployed, but his never stopped working.

That drive is something I aspire for. I don't think I'll ever catch a break and make it to New York or Hollywood, but in whatever job I have, I wish to work as hard as I can, even if it isn't required of me. He's a family man and a comedian. He does what he loves, even when life stands in his way. I admire that greatly.

Team Coco Wallpaper

I have no idea how poorly written my early morning ramble is, but I hope it isn't too bad. I just wanted to jot down my thoughts about a couple of personal role models. They are far from perfect, but what man isn't? We're all human, and the sooner I can learn that, the sooner I can let go and forgive myself and move into the next phase of changing the world.


Until Next Time!
-Daniel Golden