Just Be Yourself

Dear Blog,

If you would allow it, Blog, I'd like to write to you a response to another blog post. The question posed by that entry:
"They always tell you that when you’re trying to make friends or get a girl/guy. “Just be yourself!” But can we really? What does it even mean? They tell you not to act differently just to “fit in” or whatever. Why not? I think it’s nearly impossible to not change ourselves at least a little bit depending on who we’re hanging out with. It’s probably not such a bad idea either."

Key phrase: "Some People" 

And my simple reply to that blog is this. That when they say "just be yourself" whenever you're talking to someone you like, a job interview, or any of life's wonderful social dimensions, that you should be true to yourself. You shouldn't emulate another person's voice, stance, or opinions. "Just be yourself" is more of a gentle reminder that being yourself isn't a bad thing. It's a support for when you wish you were a champion pianist when you're chatting to that cute music major, or the volunteer firefighter who just happened to save an orphanage when you're applying for a job.

A little harsh, but the point is understood.

"Just be yourself" is saying that yes, you'll change an aspect of yourself to fit the situation at hand. Professional in an interview, fun and flirty on the dance floor. But don't suppress your urges to at least mention something you like, and definitely don't lie about liking something else. She's a cute girl dressed as a Vulcan science officer, but she'll Vulcan Nerve Pinch in a heartbeat if you act like you're into Star Trek and fail to know what the Kobayashi Maru is or its significance in the timeline of James Tiberius Kirk.

"I don't believe in a no-win scenario."

"Just be yourself" is your chance to shine, too. You've never met Person A. First impressions matter. Do you do straight into your encyclopedic knowledge Star Wars lore? Probably not. But don't shy from Lucas's saga if it is mentioned. You know all about Ewoks and the other movies Person A might like if they think Ewoks are cute (Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and its sequel Ewoks: The Battle for Endor). You might have to scale back a bit and avoid mentioning that those cute Ewoks Person A loves so much actually were intended to be Wookiees until Lucas decided Wookiees were technolgically competent and he wanted a primitive race to defeat the Empire in Return of the Jedi (or that Ewok is Wookiee switched around; or that it was originally titled Revenge of the Jedi). Information overload gives a bad impression more so than the content of the information.

And you thought all Ewoks were cute.

"Just be yourself" is advice given often. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But if being yourself results in not getting a phone number, then consider that a blessing. If that person doesn't like who you are, then odds are you wouldn't like being on a date with them. If being yourself loses you an interview, then if you had actually worked there, you'd probably be miserable the entire time you were employed there.

No one is better qualified to be you than you are.

So that's about all I have to say about being yourself. It's probably to wisest advice I can give to someone talking to someone else. Honesty is the best policy, after all, right?

Until next time!
-Daniel Golden